When Things Don't Go Right

I wish that I was the kind of person who didn’t take everything seriously. I take things so seriously that I get physically ill when I am worried, scared, embarrassed, ashamed, depressed.

Well today something didn’t go right at work. It went very wrong. I made a mistake and it lost the company some income. A phenomenal amount, you may ask? No, but my emotionally abusive boss is treating me like it was. He has perfected his method of emotional manipulation to an art. He is treating me like a bad child and not speaking to me. Awesome right?

What’s worse is that I am now beating myself up for this mistake. I let something slip. Perhaps it’s because I am doing four jobs without assistance. (And by the way being paid for 1/3 of one job and people get pissed whenever ask about the possibility of additional compensation). This whole situation is tapping into the deep fear I have that I am a miserable failure. That I really am no good at anything and I should be fired and will be at any minute.

I know that I should turn to God and lift it all up to Him. I am just afraid that He will just tell me I am a screw up too. How do you lean on the shoulders of the Lord? How do I ask him to make my dumb earthly burdens light? How can I ask Him for anything? I can’t even be there for myself.
It’s a tough day on the broken road people…. Pray for me

MIA, again

I've been out of commission in a lot of ways lately. Not least of which was a combo head cold and back going out this past weekend. I was pretty much bed ridden until about 11am Sunday. Miserable to say the least.

My computer is still on the fritz, so the end of the Texas trip is still trapped there. I have to get a jump drive and pull the entries of the machine. You'll get the rest of the story then... highlights include sliding underneath my" hot rod" and breakfast with Shakespeare.

I'll post more when I have the energy and time... stay tuned peeps!