Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Emotional Adultery

As usual, a mere moment of shared time with Pastorfriend ™ offers me hours of contemplation. I love that she brings my thoughts to a higher and more complicated strata every time we talk.

Last night she brought up the concept of Emotional Adultery. The idea is that you offer all of this support and love to someone who cannot or will not return or complete the relationship. Often times this happens within friendships between gay guys and straight women. I think this is absolutely true. I think that we ( straight women) get “involved” with men who “get” us and we think that all that sharing is healthy and wonderful. However, we try to have relationships with straight men and we are stymied by the lack of emotion or confused by their behavior or whatever happens.

Might we have been training ourselves over time to expect less and less from our potential partner by allowing these emotional “ lovers” to take so much without reciprocity? I think this is true. But what does one do? To a certain extent, we’ll put up with some of this for life – we have friends that we don’t want to lose so we compromise.

I don’t have any definitive answers on this on. I am still thinking it over. What do y’all think?

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

back from oblivion...

Well, not really oblivion... just life as usual.

I have been inspired to return to blog world by of all things a podcast I have been turned on to. It is probably one of the most idiotic, crass, unecessary podcasts ever created and I LOVE IT. It's two straight white drunk guys watching bad movies and talking about it. Reel Drunk

It's about as messed up as you can get and for the past couple of weeks I have tuning in eagerly every Tuesday to get my fix. (warning: coarse language, seriously coarse themes and well coarseness abounds - not a podcast for the faint of heart)

These fellas are hella smart and I know for a fact that at least one of them is wasting his time. I like them a lot and want them to be my friends... is that wierd? Probably.

Anyway, enough about them... about me.

I am doing great! I have risen from the ashes of March and I am now feeling like I am on track.
Very quickly ( since I am work and need to get back to it)

1. I left "The Center" - I took the job to get away from "Ye Olde" and it was more dysfunctional than "Ye Olde" EEK. Leaving wasnt pretty, but it sure felt good.

2. I left the guy - it was simply the wrong connection. Neither of us had our heart in it.

3. I started a new job , we'll call it "The Institution" ;) It's awesome. It's challenging, it has growth potential and it's definately keeping me busy.

4. I am doing All Shook Up at Toby's for the summer. I am having so much fun doing it you would not even believe it.

Don't get me wrong, I have my fair share of challenges going on as well;

1. Some chronic pain - although I have been losing weight - the joints and the back wont stop hurting. I will be seeing a doctor about it soon.

2. School - I am struggling to finish two classes this summer. I forgot to fill out my FAFSA for this year so I dont know how I am going to pay for it and yeah, I think that's enough of that.

3. I cant seem to get my house clean and that is totally frustrating. I thought when my sister moved, I would be compelled to make it all shiny and new. Nope, I just shifted my mess into the spaces she left empty. Nice.

4. and last but certainly not least, I have been absent from NCC and my relationship with God for a good long while. I couldnt tell you why... but I know it is affecting me.

I'm working on all those last ones... and celebrating the all the good ones. Life is life y'all - up down and sideways. Never boring, always a trip. I hope that it's all good where you are too.

In the meantime,

May tomorrow be a perfect day
May you find love and laughter along the way
May God keep you in His tender care, till He brings us together again.

Peace out!G