Why do some commercials make an impression and others dont? I have a new favorite commerical - Petsmart has a commercial where a couple comes home and tells thier pet bulldog that they brought him something. Then they sit down a trembling puppy bulldog in front of him and say "A sister." The bulldog stares and then pushes his little red chew toy toward his new sister and she chops down on it. A friendship commences. I LOVE THAT!
I don't know why it touches me like it does but it does.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Divagirl update
Whinypuppetboy (tm) apologized and I accpeted his apology. I didnt allow us to dwell too much on it, I made sure we just went on about our business. An extended conversation would have been unproductive. No drama, just life. I thank God for the opportunity to put what I have been learning into practice.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Bon Voyage, Sir Fabulous.
Today is the last day of Sir Fabulous' internship with Ye Olde.
I hope that he has learned a great deal and has had some fun. Life can be hard. I tried not to add to the crap life gives by being a heinous boss. I hope that he learned how NOT to live his life through the mistakes I have made. I hope that he learned a little more about himself and what he wants for his future.
I pray that I have helped him prepare for the next chapter in his life.
I pray that his new fellowship is filled with opportunities to communicate his vision and his passion.
I pray that he doesnt forget us here in the Capital City when he is famous in the Big Apple.
He's a good guy with a bright future. He has touched Ye Olde in ways the organization has yet to discover. We are blessed for the time we shared with him.
Bon voyage, friend.
I hope that he has learned a great deal and has had some fun. Life can be hard. I tried not to add to the crap life gives by being a heinous boss. I hope that he learned how NOT to live his life through the mistakes I have made. I hope that he learned a little more about himself and what he wants for his future.
I pray that I have helped him prepare for the next chapter in his life.
I pray that his new fellowship is filled with opportunities to communicate his vision and his passion.
I pray that he doesnt forget us here in the Capital City when he is famous in the Big Apple.
He's a good guy with a bright future. He has touched Ye Olde in ways the organization has yet to discover. We are blessed for the time we shared with him.
Bon voyage, friend.
Divagirl strikes again.
After the show last night, Puppetboy started giving me notes again. I tried to be calm about it and even walked away to avoid saying something ugly. I did what a responsible professional should do and I told my stage manager that there was a repeated incidence of a cast member giving me notes. I told her if it happened again, I would request an official meeting. I thought she would be cool about it and be "warned" that it might be coming. Instead, she went to the actor and I am sure in the unkindest of ways told him to back off. She called me last night to report what had happened and that he was defensive about it and she had commanded that he give me an apology.
Great. Now puppetboy will hold resentment against me for telling someone of my displeasure. I have been listening to Joyce Meyer's Approval Addiction and I realize that my bristling about this issue is part of my own problem with being critized and being found lacking. I dont think he is 100% correct for giving me notes after every stupid show, but my reaction to it could be better. I am sure I could just let it roll and say "God is my only critic." I am, however, a human being and as such succeptable to the "slings and arrows" of other humans. I am working on it.
So today I am praying for the best way to be a beacon of peace to the dinner theatre. I certainly didnt intend to cause any trouble. I will pray for forgiveness of my pride and ask for a little more strength.
Great. Now puppetboy will hold resentment against me for telling someone of my displeasure. I have been listening to Joyce Meyer's Approval Addiction and I realize that my bristling about this issue is part of my own problem with being critized and being found lacking. I dont think he is 100% correct for giving me notes after every stupid show, but my reaction to it could be better. I am sure I could just let it roll and say "God is my only critic." I am, however, a human being and as such succeptable to the "slings and arrows" of other humans. I am working on it.
So today I am praying for the best way to be a beacon of peace to the dinner theatre. I certainly didnt intend to cause any trouble. I will pray for forgiveness of my pride and ask for a little more strength.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Saturday
I slept in the for the first time in a long time. It was delightful. I was perched on my big chair trying to work on my resume when my cell phone went off. It was a director ... I was supposed to have auditioned for a show today. OOPS. He called me to ask what happned. Er I Um. He wouldnt get off the phone till I promised to hop in the shower and come down. Fortunately, it was just up the road a piece.
I sat in the hallway of the place - freaking out. I couldn't remember the lines to any of the songs. I dont know why I get so messed up. The director came out brought me in to the room. There were lots of friendly looking people in the room. I felt a little more confident. Then I told the director I couldnt remember any lyrics. So the Musical Director gives me the big song for the character I was auditioning and I nail it. It was a short section, thank goodness. I read the side and made them laugh. So, I think I may have gotten the gig. When I know for sure, I will let you all know.
I came back home and now I am chillin' once more before I head up North to be Ms. Audrey II.
Not a bad Satuday in the city.
I sat in the hallway of the place - freaking out. I couldn't remember the lines to any of the songs. I dont know why I get so messed up. The director came out brought me in to the room. There were lots of friendly looking people in the room. I felt a little more confident. Then I told the director I couldnt remember any lyrics. So the Musical Director gives me the big song for the character I was auditioning and I nail it. It was a short section, thank goodness. I read the side and made them laugh. So, I think I may have gotten the gig. When I know for sure, I will let you all know.
I came back home and now I am chillin' once more before I head up North to be Ms. Audrey II.
Not a bad Satuday in the city.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Two Show days...
Two show Wednesdays are the best. It's the day I wake up and feel like I am who I am supposed to be. I know that I am going to do something I love all day long. It's just been the coolest day really.
During the shows, ive been alternating between reading and working on the MAT workbook. I've gotten through the review part and now I have to work on vocab and remembering all the stuff I forgot from college ( It's like studying for a Jeopordy tournament!)
Between the shows, I had dinner with the stage manager ( what is it about me and stage managers - I always seem to befriend them!) We shared some stories about our lives. She shared some insight into some of the relationships and people in the company. This really helped me because it gave me a whole new way to pray for some of these people. The thing is, the theatre is a mission field ripe for revival. Theatre, as generalization, is filled with a lot of hurting people. We are by nature, seekers and we often fall into things that seems to satify that need for community, validity and love while we are on our quests. I feel very strongly that I am called to the theatre to help people. I dont know how that is going to play itself out... but I know the opportunity is there. The pain is there for sure.
Anyway, that was a major ramble... it's late...and I am happy.
During the shows, ive been alternating between reading and working on the MAT workbook. I've gotten through the review part and now I have to work on vocab and remembering all the stuff I forgot from college ( It's like studying for a Jeopordy tournament!)
Between the shows, I had dinner with the stage manager ( what is it about me and stage managers - I always seem to befriend them!) We shared some stories about our lives. She shared some insight into some of the relationships and people in the company. This really helped me because it gave me a whole new way to pray for some of these people. The thing is, the theatre is a mission field ripe for revival. Theatre, as generalization, is filled with a lot of hurting people. We are by nature, seekers and we often fall into things that seems to satify that need for community, validity and love while we are on our quests. I feel very strongly that I am called to the theatre to help people. I dont know how that is going to play itself out... but I know the opportunity is there. The pain is there for sure.
Anyway, that was a major ramble... it's late...and I am happy.
Divagirl and Godgirl collide
I've been working with one of the best casts I have ever been a part of for months now. Of course, we are all drama queens and so there are moments where everyone is a pain. But for the most part, they are professional, talented and efficient, we have put together a fabulous Little Shop, if I do say so myself.
What I am about to complain about then?
My number one theatrical pet peeve: actors giving other actors notes.
For those who dont know, notes are what the director, musical director, techincal director, choreographer or stage manager give performers or techinicians to inform them of places where they " miss the mark" or need some improvement, etc.
Notes should NEVER be given from one actor to another. If you are talking to a fellow actor and you ask thier opinion or ask what they think you can do to make a task ot a scene work better - that is different. Walking up to someone before a show and telling what they should do differently - totally uncool.
To be specfic, one of the actors who operates the plant wants to make it my issue that he cant seem to sync the plant with my voice. He is always a beat behind. Therefore, he wants me to give him an audible cue as to when to open the " mouth" of the plant. Uh, no. The other actor who shares " plant duty" with him has no problem with how we have worked this out. That is probably because he took the script home and studied his lines ( my lines are HIS lines too). He says the lines while he is in the big plant so the movements match the words. He has also studied me, so he uses some of my head movements for the plant ( which is neat - and pretty hard to do - the plant is really heavy and takes a LOT of upper body strength to manipulate).
The thing that irritated me the most about the situation, aside from this child coming up to me and telling me how perform my lines, was that he went to the director and told her that both puppeteers were having serious issues with how I was doing what I was doing. Which, after talking to the other puppeteer, I found out was not true.
So, I have to let the whole thing go really. Half of the time Whinypuppetboy (tm) wont be there anyway. Since I know whcih shows those will be, i'll just have to pray harder for some patience on those days :). Over all though, I still have to give thanks for an experience that is just what I need right now.
I guess that is how a Diva moment turns into a God moment.
Amen, Ya'll
What I am about to complain about then?
My number one theatrical pet peeve: actors giving other actors notes.
For those who dont know, notes are what the director, musical director, techincal director, choreographer or stage manager give performers or techinicians to inform them of places where they " miss the mark" or need some improvement, etc.
Notes should NEVER be given from one actor to another. If you are talking to a fellow actor and you ask thier opinion or ask what they think you can do to make a task ot a scene work better - that is different. Walking up to someone before a show and telling what they should do differently - totally uncool.
To be specfic, one of the actors who operates the plant wants to make it my issue that he cant seem to sync the plant with my voice. He is always a beat behind. Therefore, he wants me to give him an audible cue as to when to open the " mouth" of the plant. Uh, no. The other actor who shares " plant duty" with him has no problem with how we have worked this out. That is probably because he took the script home and studied his lines ( my lines are HIS lines too). He says the lines while he is in the big plant so the movements match the words. He has also studied me, so he uses some of my head movements for the plant ( which is neat - and pretty hard to do - the plant is really heavy and takes a LOT of upper body strength to manipulate).
The thing that irritated me the most about the situation, aside from this child coming up to me and telling me how perform my lines, was that he went to the director and told her that both puppeteers were having serious issues with how I was doing what I was doing. Which, after talking to the other puppeteer, I found out was not true.
So, I have to let the whole thing go really. Half of the time Whinypuppetboy (tm) wont be there anyway. Since I know whcih shows those will be, i'll just have to pray harder for some patience on those days :). Over all though, I still have to give thanks for an experience that is just what I need right now.
I guess that is how a Diva moment turns into a God moment.
Amen, Ya'll
Lean, mean green queen of the scene
Hey look guys, I'm in the paper!
This article is running in today's Baltimore Sun ( Howard County section).
How cool.
This article is running in today's Baltimore Sun ( Howard County section).
How cool.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Post meeting report.
I sought the advice of my mom and several friends solicted some prayer warriors for me on the whole "handling" issue. My mom came up with to interesting points of view -one from the management side about making things work even when they cant ( very pro crazy people) and one about me and how I should handle the situation. Interestingly enough, even though she gave an excuse as to why they would do the things that they do her advice to me was " say what you want to say." Which is a new one from her. She is usualy a " go along to get along" kind of person.
What ended up happening? I sat pretty quietly and doodled the whole meeting away. I spoke about other things in my regualr candid way, but I did what they asked me in the meeting. Then I went upstairs and started pulling job listings. I also too a three hour lunch with my intern. He said something while we were in the car that was so very true. Ye Olde is filled with passive agressive people - it's actually how we manage every situation. I say "we", becasue that is what I did today. It's what I do everyday. And I am ashamed of it. It only serves to cause me more pain. It's something that I DETEST in other people, because it is something I DETEST in myself.
I am grateful for the mirror that this job experience has been. It has shown me a lot about who I am and who I dont want to become. Perhaps, since some of the more difficult to express values have manifested themselves about the job, I can finally move on.
I think I want something that I dont feel as passionate about. A job where I am well compensated for my administrative skills but it isnt personal. Something that wont hurt my feelings. So I can save that energy for my "real life". My life in Christ, His gift of artistry to me...
What ended up happening? I sat pretty quietly and doodled the whole meeting away. I spoke about other things in my regualr candid way, but I did what they asked me in the meeting. Then I went upstairs and started pulling job listings. I also too a three hour lunch with my intern. He said something while we were in the car that was so very true. Ye Olde is filled with passive agressive people - it's actually how we manage every situation. I say "we", becasue that is what I did today. It's what I do everyday. And I am ashamed of it. It only serves to cause me more pain. It's something that I DETEST in other people, because it is something I DETEST in myself.
I am grateful for the mirror that this job experience has been. It has shown me a lot about who I am and who I dont want to become. Perhaps, since some of the more difficult to express values have manifested themselves about the job, I can finally move on.
I think I want something that I dont feel as passionate about. A job where I am well compensated for my administrative skills but it isnt personal. Something that wont hurt my feelings. So I can save that energy for my "real life". My life in Christ, His gift of artistry to me...
Monday, June 18, 2007
Somewhere that's Green...
Far from Skid Row ,
I dream we'll go
somewhere that's green...
Somewhere That's Green, from Little Shop...
My boss just left my cubicle and I heard myself singing that line in my head. He just came in "handle" me. Clearly sent by Crazyman (tm) to make sure I follow thier twited party line, I was told not say anything about thier semi-diabolical plot to cheat around a promise Ye Olde made to get some money. I am not supposed to say how I feel about it, even if asked. I was then told " If I can't say something nice about the idea dont say anything at all." and " dont look like your not saying anything because you dont approve". I was basically told not to talk and how to " wear my face" during a meeting. Who does that? Last time I checked I didnt work with my mama. I am really sorry that your plan is shady and you dont want anyone to say that in the meeting so you can continue to just cheat around everything instead of working. That's not really my problem.
My problem is that Leftbrain (tm) has decided that he needs to " handle" me - Like I am the freekin' Lindsay Lohan of the office! I know that God is trying to push me out of this situation into a new one... I cant see what the new situation is yet, so I have a hesitation to get out.
Someday I will go... and it will be great. In the meantime:
Please wait...
The business is doing great...
So why I am I feeling so depressed?
Call Back In the Morning -from Little Shop
I dream we'll go
somewhere that's green...
Somewhere That's Green, from Little Shop...
My boss just left my cubicle and I heard myself singing that line in my head. He just came in "handle" me. Clearly sent by Crazyman (tm) to make sure I follow thier twited party line, I was told not say anything about thier semi-diabolical plot to cheat around a promise Ye Olde made to get some money. I am not supposed to say how I feel about it, even if asked. I was then told " If I can't say something nice about the idea dont say anything at all." and " dont look like your not saying anything because you dont approve". I was basically told not to talk and how to " wear my face" during a meeting. Who does that? Last time I checked I didnt work with my mama. I am really sorry that your plan is shady and you dont want anyone to say that in the meeting so you can continue to just cheat around everything instead of working. That's not really my problem.
My problem is that Leftbrain (tm) has decided that he needs to " handle" me - Like I am the freekin' Lindsay Lohan of the office! I know that God is trying to push me out of this situation into a new one... I cant see what the new situation is yet, so I have a hesitation to get out.
Someday I will go... and it will be great. In the meantime:
Please wait...
The business is doing great...
So why I am I feeling so depressed?
Call Back In the Morning -from Little Shop
Friday, June 15, 2007
Don't feed the plants!
They may you fortune and fame,
Love and money and instant acclaim,
But whatever they offer you don't feed the plants!
- Little Shop Finale
Little Shop of Horrors opened last night up at Toby's. It was a lot of fun. I am glad the opening is over though, it's nerve wracking and the energy is always weird. I will say this though, they are very good to thier performers there. They actually care about you. That has a lot to do with the fact that Toby is there all the time and is very hands on in her management. This theatre is one of her babies.
The evening started with Toby calling us all into a circle. She told us that we were ready to open - that the show was fun and sounded great. Then she had us all join hands and she offered the show up in prayer. I was floored. Then we did this exercise where she started a hand squeeze on each side of her and it was passed from person to person. The person who gets squeezed on both sides gets " special energy". LOL. So guess who got it? uh huh...it was me :)!
Frankly, I feel like the whole exeperience has been one double squeeze of special energy. The people have been so good to me. They are so talented and made me step up my "game". The behind the scenes people and the administration have been so supportive - it might be a nice place to work all the time.
The show went off without anything major happening. After curtain call, Toby gathered us all on the stage and had we had a champagne toast. Some of the cast was going off to the have a late dinner to celebrate, but I had a 9am meeting so I sent air kisses to the crowd and boogied back down south.
I went to bed tired and happy. The show is open. Come see it!
Love and money and instant acclaim,
But whatever they offer you don't feed the plants!
- Little Shop Finale
Little Shop of Horrors opened last night up at Toby's. It was a lot of fun. I am glad the opening is over though, it's nerve wracking and the energy is always weird. I will say this though, they are very good to thier performers there. They actually care about you. That has a lot to do with the fact that Toby is there all the time and is very hands on in her management. This theatre is one of her babies.
The evening started with Toby calling us all into a circle. She told us that we were ready to open - that the show was fun and sounded great. Then she had us all join hands and she offered the show up in prayer. I was floored. Then we did this exercise where she started a hand squeeze on each side of her and it was passed from person to person. The person who gets squeezed on both sides gets " special energy". LOL. So guess who got it? uh huh...it was me :)!
Frankly, I feel like the whole exeperience has been one double squeeze of special energy. The people have been so good to me. They are so talented and made me step up my "game". The behind the scenes people and the administration have been so supportive - it might be a nice place to work all the time.
The show went off without anything major happening. After curtain call, Toby gathered us all on the stage and had we had a champagne toast. Some of the cast was going off to the have a late dinner to celebrate, but I had a 9am meeting so I sent air kisses to the crowd and boogied back down south.
I went to bed tired and happy. The show is open. Come see it!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Another Opnin', Another Show...
Well, it's opening "night" ( it's the middle of the day of opening). I have just gone to the CVS to purchase my travel eyeliner and mascara. I am hoping I haven't spilled too much down the front of my shirt ( I have to wear it for the curtain call). I don't feel the flutterbys I usually feel. It probably has to do with the minimal amount of stage time I have. Don't get me wrong..."Audrey II" is pretty pivitol to the story, but I get to do my stuff from in the pit ( which upstairs instead of down). It makes it easier to growl and act like a fool when no one but the boys in the band can see me.
I am edgy... and I dont feel like being in my office, but it is pretty quiet here - no too many people around and no big "fires" to put out. We just opened and show and that usually brings a short lull. Anyway... I am sipping my Gold Peak iced tea ( the BEST diet iced tea EVER!!!!) and trying to get some work done.
or...maybe I will daydream some more...
For those of you who dont know.... here is the info on the show I am talking about.
Little Shop of Horrors opens tonight at Toby's Dinner Theater of Columbia
It runs from now until August 19th. I would love it if you all come out and " see" my work. It's a fun night out and dinner is included in your ticket price. You cant beat that with a stick! :)
Alright...I am going back to work now.
I am edgy... and I dont feel like being in my office, but it is pretty quiet here - no too many people around and no big "fires" to put out. We just opened and show and that usually brings a short lull. Anyway... I am sipping my Gold Peak iced tea ( the BEST diet iced tea EVER!!!!) and trying to get some work done.
or...maybe I will daydream some more...
For those of you who dont know.... here is the info on the show I am talking about.
Little Shop of Horrors opens tonight at Toby's Dinner Theater of Columbia
It runs from now until August 19th. I would love it if you all come out and " see" my work. It's a fun night out and dinner is included in your ticket price. You cant beat that with a stick! :)
Alright...I am going back to work now.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Update...
Hey y'all...
Just so you know... Ive been pretty sick for the past week. I had a sinus infection that has been kicking my behind. I am on the other side of it and I think I will be fine for the Little Shop opening.
My stomach is no good though... I can't seem to eat without getting sick. I had some cereal this morning, no sweat but lunch? It's fighting me really hard this afternoon. I don't know what that is about but I wish it would stop. I'd rather not have to think about it too much.
Just so you know... Ive been pretty sick for the past week. I had a sinus infection that has been kicking my behind. I am on the other side of it and I think I will be fine for the Little Shop opening.
My stomach is no good though... I can't seem to eat without getting sick. I had some cereal this morning, no sweat but lunch? It's fighting me really hard this afternoon. I don't know what that is about but I wish it would stop. I'd rather not have to think about it too much.
What's my theological World View?
| You scored as Emergent/Postmodern,You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this. |
What's your theological worldview?
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Emergent/Postmodern | 79% | ||
Charismatic/Pentecostal | 71% | ||
Classical Liberal | 64% | ||
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan | 61% | ||
Roman Catholic | 43% | ||
Neo orthodox | 43% | ||
Modern Liberal | 36% | ||
Reformed Evangelical | 29% | ||
Fundamentalist | 21% |
What's your theological worldview?
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Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Selfishly...
At lunch today I pontificated about what I thought some friends of mine should do. I spouted off my lofty thoughts on thier lives and the things they "might" choose. As my dear friend patiently listened to me I made broad statements about the way I think the world should be. All of this without actually knowing what is going on.
This comes from fear of change. It comes from developing attachments to people and not wanting them to go away. I made these statements as an attempt to vent my fear - to transfer the inner pain I was feeling into anger. None of the people involved know I did this. But I feel the need to say i'm sorry anyway. I was selfish. I love them and dont want them to go away.
This comes from fear of change. It comes from developing attachments to people and not wanting them to go away. I made these statements as an attempt to vent my fear - to transfer the inner pain I was feeling into anger. None of the people involved know I did this. But I feel the need to say i'm sorry anyway. I was selfish. I love them and dont want them to go away.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Yeah, it's definately not the Diet Coke.
Memories have been flooding my mind for the past week. Images of times when I have been compromised and I have compromised myself. I have shared them with some of my friends for the first time. Setting them free, I suppose...making room for something all together new.
I see how some of the things that happened to me lead to the things I chose for myself. But what I cant seem to do is find out what the connection is for the here and the now? I am just not sure what any of this has to do with life outside of myself or what the "new thing" is I am making room for.
Curious.
I see how some of the things that happened to me lead to the things I chose for myself. But what I cant seem to do is find out what the connection is for the here and the now? I am just not sure what any of this has to do with life outside of myself or what the "new thing" is I am making room for.
Curious.
Feeling at home
I just got back from Columbia. The Little Shop company was called for a clean up rehearsal. It's funny, I feel like we haven't had that many rehearsals but there isnt that much to clean up. It's a really different experience from working in otehr venues. Good.
I had a LOT of down time, but I really didn't mind. It just felt right to be there. I was among peers, people younger and older than me that I respect. I feel at ease there. I dont feel out of place, or constantly irritated or misused or maltreated. It's just comfortable - like home.
It definately felt like one of those times when God was tapping on my shoulder and saying " Yeah, daughter, this is where you need to be...see how easy this is for you?"
Yes, Father, I hear you, I hear you.
I had a LOT of down time, but I really didn't mind. It just felt right to be there. I was among peers, people younger and older than me that I respect. I feel at ease there. I dont feel out of place, or constantly irritated or misused or maltreated. It's just comfortable - like home.
It definately felt like one of those times when God was tapping on my shoulder and saying " Yeah, daughter, this is where you need to be...see how easy this is for you?"
Yes, Father, I hear you, I hear you.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Invited Dress Rehearsal - Hamlet
The morning of first rehearsal I kissed his forehead and said a prayer.
Halfway through rehearsals I held his hand and touched his face and listened as he told me about the process.
Tonight, I sat as far in the back of the house as I could and waited with baited breath as he took the stage as “Hamlet”.
This is one of the big roles. One of the roles that can “make or break” you as an actor. It's one of the theatrical roles every actor under 30 wants to do to define themselves as an artist.I knew how important the moment was… the first appearance. The audience crackled with anticipation. He exploded onto the stage and my heart shattered with joy. He was owning it.
Was it perfect? Of course not, he is a human being and it was a dress rehearsal. He choked on a Dorito, he fell a little harder than he should have over a couch. He flubbed a line or two. He also captivated an audience for three and a half hours. He took us on the journey of a tortured young Dane and I was so proud.
When it was done, my heart hurt a little bit.
Partially because it was a moment that I could never recapture and partially because I had seen what it took to get him to that point.
As I go to sleep tonight, I say a prayer for the company and for the audiences that will get to experience this show…
but most of all for my friend…
soulkisses through the ether to you, Precious. Good job.
Halfway through rehearsals I held his hand and touched his face and listened as he told me about the process.
Tonight, I sat as far in the back of the house as I could and waited with baited breath as he took the stage as “Hamlet”.
This is one of the big roles. One of the roles that can “make or break” you as an actor. It's one of the theatrical roles every actor under 30 wants to do to define themselves as an artist.I knew how important the moment was… the first appearance. The audience crackled with anticipation. He exploded onto the stage and my heart shattered with joy. He was owning it.
Was it perfect? Of course not, he is a human being and it was a dress rehearsal. He choked on a Dorito, he fell a little harder than he should have over a couch. He flubbed a line or two. He also captivated an audience for three and a half hours. He took us on the journey of a tortured young Dane and I was so proud.
When it was done, my heart hurt a little bit.
Partially because it was a moment that I could never recapture and partially because I had seen what it took to get him to that point.
As I go to sleep tonight, I say a prayer for the company and for the audiences that will get to experience this show…
but most of all for my friend…
soulkisses through the ether to you, Precious. Good job.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Suddenly...my dreams are motion...
... and I-I-I-I-I am willing to sail any o-oh-cean...
That delightful lyric is from the hit song "Suddenly" made famous by Ms. Olivia Newton John in the infamously wonderfuly awful film Xanadu. Which is now a Broadway musical. For real, y'all. In fact, the shows tag is "Xanadu on Broadway. Seriously." I love it!
When I was ten years old, I had a notion that I was going on be on the exhibition roller skating team for the 1980 Olympic summer games. I practiced every day in my roller skates ( bright blue ones that looked like tennis shoes). I did figure eights in my basement. I did training laps around the block and I worked out "long programs" on my porch to a portable radio. I found out that there was a movie that involved two of my favorite things at the time...Olivia Newton John ( I was a BIG Grease fan too) and roller skates. I HAD to be there. I begged my mom to take me and she did. ( I will say that this was probably one of the last movies my mom actually went to the movies to see...perhaps I sullied the movie going experience for her by forcing Xanadu on her... Sorry Mom). I love love loved it - what I didnt fall asleep on.
There was so much to love about it. I learned about Gene Kelly... subsequently watching anything that he was in after that. I learned about ELO ( Electric Light Orchestra for those of you who don't know - thier sound, with tight harmonies and sweeping epic musicality made me just want to sing everything they made). But most of all, it made we want to find out more about Greek Myths. There were references I just didnt get and my mom told me they were referning to mythical stories. We actually went shopping after the matinee show, we went to B Dalton where I picked up my first book on mythology and we went to Kemp Mill Records and Tapes (actually we went to several) to get the soundtrack recording of Xanadu.
And so, ladies and gentlemen you can see why when I happened upon a story about Xanadu the Broadway musical - my heart leaped! Today at Little Shop rehearsal the fella playing Seymour was talking about how he had gone to NYC to see it. We had a great conversation about it and it made we want to go see it quickly ( cuz I am not sure that it will be around for much longer). I dont know how that is going to happen with my fulltime Ye Olde gig and Little Shop about to open... but, where there's a will... there's Xanadu!
Friday, June 01, 2007
I thought it was about Diet Coke...
Last sunday, I entered into a ten day fast of something I " love" very much - that wonder of chemical wonders - diet coke. It's part of the Pentacost Fast going on at my church. We were asked to fast from something and in its place add a spiritual activity. I have to admit that I didn't add anything, I just attempted to be more aware of what I was feeling and tried to listen to what God was trying to tell me.
As I approach the 7 day marker, I was going to say I hadnt felt very much, aside from a few moments of longing for my caffeinated sweetheart. But that would be untrue. This doing without, this teeny tiny sacrifice is unearthing in me a feeling of unrest that I have never felt before. I am not being complelled to deal with all the things I "thirst" for.
There is something that I have really been supressing in my life. The notion that I have a need for companionship. Not friendship, but really the firely communion of bodies and souls that has been denied me for my entire adult life. I have never ever felt worthy of having a boyfriend, let alone a husband. I have always felt too tall, too black, too fat, too ugly or have been told so by people I trusted. It was so painful do deal with that I have for many years pretended that I didnt even need that kind of thing in my life.
I go through seasons where it's okay to be alone. I usually have a boat load of things to "cover up" the fact that I am alone. To tell you the truth, I have all of the elements to do a great cover up job right now... but its as if someone is holding the covers back... forcing me to take a look. Is this the lack of carbonation in my life? Or is it a real manifestation and call to reality from God. Is this season of my life over...or permanent? And what should I do about it?
I am perplexed and a little sad that this topic is coming up. I wanted my big Pentacostal break through to be something " better" than being okay with being alone. I mean, I am a six foot tall overweight black woman who works in theatre - I dont need a hammer over the head to tell me that meeting men will always be hard for me. I'm confused and I want a diet coke.
As I approach the 7 day marker, I was going to say I hadnt felt very much, aside from a few moments of longing for my caffeinated sweetheart. But that would be untrue. This doing without, this teeny tiny sacrifice is unearthing in me a feeling of unrest that I have never felt before. I am not being complelled to deal with all the things I "thirst" for.
There is something that I have really been supressing in my life. The notion that I have a need for companionship. Not friendship, but really the firely communion of bodies and souls that has been denied me for my entire adult life. I have never ever felt worthy of having a boyfriend, let alone a husband. I have always felt too tall, too black, too fat, too ugly or have been told so by people I trusted. It was so painful do deal with that I have for many years pretended that I didnt even need that kind of thing in my life.
I go through seasons where it's okay to be alone. I usually have a boat load of things to "cover up" the fact that I am alone. To tell you the truth, I have all of the elements to do a great cover up job right now... but its as if someone is holding the covers back... forcing me to take a look. Is this the lack of carbonation in my life? Or is it a real manifestation and call to reality from God. Is this season of my life over...or permanent? And what should I do about it?
I am perplexed and a little sad that this topic is coming up. I wanted my big Pentacostal break through to be something " better" than being okay with being alone. I mean, I am a six foot tall overweight black woman who works in theatre - I dont need a hammer over the head to tell me that meeting men will always be hard for me. I'm confused and I want a diet coke.
Team Kenya is doing wonderous things!
Check out the posting from NCC's Team Kenya about what they have been doing. Please keep them in your prayers as they continue to offer thier energy and inspiration to the wonderful people of Nairobi.
Coolness.
I just got an email from Kenya. I wish I was there. Maybe I wouldn't feel so lonely and adrift.
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