As usual, a mere moment of shared time with Pastorfriend ™ offers me hours of contemplation. I love that she brings my thoughts to a higher and more complicated strata every time we talk.
Last night she brought up the concept of Emotional Adultery. The idea is that you offer all of this support and love to someone who cannot or will not return or complete the relationship. Often times this happens within friendships between gay guys and straight women. I think this is absolutely true. I think that we ( straight women) get “involved” with men who “get” us and we think that all that sharing is healthy and wonderful. However, we try to have relationships with straight men and we are stymied by the lack of emotion or confused by their behavior or whatever happens.
Might we have been training ourselves over time to expect less and less from our potential partner by allowing these emotional “ lovers” to take so much without reciprocity? I think this is true. But what does one do? To a certain extent, we’ll put up with some of this for life – we have friends that we don’t want to lose so we compromise.
I don’t have any definitive answers on this on. I am still thinking it over. What do y’all think?
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