Remember how I said I was bad at blogging...

well know you know how bad. I think I really need to use this as an exercise in discipline. I feel like over the years I have cultivated a lifestyle of just getting by. I have done just enough not to get in trouble and never enough to feel really good about the things I do.

Let me explain, as a youngster I would do the minimum work required to pass and then not really care about the rest. While other students were building volcanoes and robots for thier science projects, I was...well I dont even know what I was doing. I dont recall a single project I ever did. That should tell you how much it never impacted me. It never meant anything to me.

Even the things that meant " the world" to me never got the full attention they deserved. I would want to do well and then ... I'm not sure what happened. The enemy? I am sure I was a willing vessel for him since I was really unwilling to challenge myself.

Now I am an adult and I suffer from this weird malaise. I get involved in a bunch of things and half of them get shafted because I become exhausted and overextended. My desire to be everywhere, conflicts with my humanity. I end up feeling frustrated and guilty. More miserable, I think, than if I had just said "no, thanks" and stuck to one or two things.

I dont know, but maybe working it out here will help...or make it worse. LOL ... soooo, either see you tomorrow or see you next month along the broken road...