The long and winding road...

I am sitting on my couch in the D to the C. The pundints are blah blahing on the TV. These are the days I am glad that I have "taxation without representation" so I dont have to vote for these jokers.

It has been a long week. Last weekend, I was happily traveling back and forth to Baltimore rehearsing a reading of an original play at Centerstage. The play was about a way station between life and death - a nightclub called club termina. A play with music, I was still using my voice. I was working with equity actresses and holding my own. Pretty exciting, right?

On saturday night, I came home tired and nauseous. I was having some breathing issues and still struggling with a cold. I went to bed and hoped for the best.

Sunday morning I woke up with an asthma attack of sorts and pain in my left underarm. I thought I had slept wrong or something. I hopped in my car and as I headed up 295N the pressure in my chest seemed to be getting worse. I kept coughing and couldnt really catch my breath. I got to Centerstage and calmed down a bit. My voice was hoarse and I could feel the rattle in my chest. There happened to be a doctor in the reading, he came up to me and asked me if I was okay. I told him what my symptoms were and I knew he watched me the whole rehearsal. At the end, I was mad tired and wanted to go home. The doctor made me take his cell phone number and call him if I thought I needed to go to the hospital. Eek.

I went home and went to bed. I got up and had some dinner, I was tired... but I didnt feel as bad as I did while I was singing. I went back to bed about 11pm. As I laid down, I felt a lot of pressure on my chest. I turned to the side - really bad. I turned to the other side - really bad. I figured if I stayed flat I would be alright. I fell alseep. Two hours later I sat up and was really unsure of what to do. I called my nurse hotline... the nurse said - hang up and call 911. WHAAAA???????

So I got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face put on some clothes and left the house. I drove over to GWU Hopsital and went to the emergency room. They triaged me and took me in pretty quickly. I wasnt sure what was going on. I was praying it wasnt a heart attack. Hours went by...EKGS...hooked up to a monitor, oxygen...it was nightmarish really. Mostly it made me think about my Dad. How scary this must have been for him.

Around 5am, they made the decision to admit me. That was when it became real for me. I was beinfg admitted to the hospital - the hospital! I started text messaging my sister so that someone knew where I was. Funny things started going through my head... I need someone to move my car so I dont get a ticket. I am being admitted for possible heart problems and I am worried about a parking ticket! I was worried about the reading. I had committed to this and now, like several things in the past few months...I came up short. I was failing.

Anyway, this story is really long, sorry... the short ending is that after I was admitted I was tested tested and re tested. My heart was not damaged. I did not have a heart attack. Thank God! What I was stricken with was a combination of things...Asthma, Bronchial cold, Extreme Fatigue and Reflux. Basically, I was a mess and I needed to slow down.

So, I have spent the past week resting. I have allowed my body to dictate when I slept and ate and all that good stuff. My job has been terrific about this! My boss told me not to come back till I felt 100%. I feel very blessed and grateful that I have that kind of support. I will work hard to make sure that the support is warrented.

I am ready to go to work and ready to take better care of myself. Wish me luck

Don't faint.

Here's another blog entry. I just wrapped up a greuling couple of days and I just wanted to talk about how grateful I am for my life right now.

I finished the run of Beehive. Yay rah! We had a lovely dinner and I went right back to "The Susan" (TS) to put on my costumer hat.

I had miles to go on the men's costumes for the next show. Changeover at the TS is a real drag. As soon as the last guest leaves the theatre the crew strikes the set. Showbegone. They begin three days of all nighters - the set and the lights go up at the same time. Backstage the SM cleans the dressing room, gathers props and gets out of the way of the costumer who ( if all is right with the world) is loading in the costumes for the next show.

I spent most of Sunday night backstage with George the SM... hemming and cutting and trying to make lists of what I needed to buy. I was there until 3am! Oy - happy Monday, right?

Monday, daytime was spent at ye olde... and then I had to head to Baltimore to rehearse for a reading I have been asked to particpate in. It was very cool, actually - I am going to be on stage with people who have MFA's in acting - Equity performers and I think I hold my own up there. Everyone involved seemed pleased at what I could do. I dont know why it suprises me, but it always does. Perhaps I should work on feeling more confident in my abilities...

Tuesday, another day at ye olde and then down to TS for the dress rehearsal. I was proud to see how well I had done. The men looked pretty good. There were hems and a few things missing. The rehearsal ran pretty late and it was just before 3am again before I got to bed. I had at least five hours of work to do and shopping that couldnt get done before the show unless I took the day to do it.

That is why I opted for a personal day on Wednesday and slept in :). I the afternoon I rushed around like a nut case grabbing things off the shelves. LOL. I got to the theatre 15 minutes before call, sewing, sorting and trying to be a help to the cast on thier opening night. They looked great! Several cast members thanked me and told me that I was a lifesaver and that I rocked. Of course, that made me so happy. I love it when I feel like people see how hard I work.

The show went up moderately on time and it's very cute. Two intermissions though! I left at the second intermission and was actually home and in bed before 12midnight. WHOOOPEE!

I am just so grateful that the show looks good and that job is done. I have to reconcile my receipts, get reimbursed and that's it :)

Now, I have to get through the reading and my life slows down a bit.

I dont expect that to last though... I already see some things coming down the pipeline that I'll be involved in. But praise God for the strength to keep going... for being healthy enough to work. It's a great day!

Where am I at right now?

hmmm... looks like I am getting to this about once a month...LOL

I guess that is better than none, right?

My show closed. I have been wearing a beehive wig and a mini skirt singing tunes from the 60's for about three months now.... but, like all shows, they must come to an end. This is the first one that I might actually miss. I enjoyed myself, both on and off stage. The girls were a lot of fun. we were all so different. Some very young and well, me... not so young. We were black, white, latina, christian, jew, agnostic - we were everyone... and we sang in fierce harmony ;)

When I get some pictures i'll post a couple.

So anyway, we had our closing dinner. I dont usually go to these things. I dont like endings. In the past year though, I have come to terms with endings. Frankly, I dont think anything on earth will ever be as hard as the " final " ending of a loved one. It makes closing a show seem simple. Something you can celebrate. That's what I am trying to do now - celebrate and be grateful.

So in this oh so public and yet anoymous forum i'd like to thank my lady friends from " Beehive". To Dena, Jade, Julie, Erica and Morgan and our lovely understudies Kathleen, Rikki, Alana, Ashleigh, Hillary and Temple. You all rock pretty darned hard. "Beehive you're my babies..."