My mom is having surgery tomorrow. She will have a procedure that will change her life for the better. She is excited and hopeful that she will be more mobile and more comfortable than she has been in more than a decade. I am hopeful for her.
I am also scared. She’s my mom. She’s not as strong as she should be… neither am I, truth be told. I don’t know if I can handle it if something happened to her. Anything can happen, ya know? She has been the grown up in my life, my whole life. I can’t lose her – I’m not ready. But just in case, I have to be ready that something could go wrong. I mean, my dad was going in for a procedure and he never came home. He was much sicker than my mom… but she misses him so much. I am afraid that she will go to be with him.
She’s so awesome. I mean, she is smart and funny and can cooooook! Her talented hands have lovingly created everything from Halloween costumes to nursing scrubs. She has shown me what devotion really means. If I ever get lucky enough to have a partner in the life, I hope to be loved and cared for as much as she loves her husband and children. When her husband passed away, she mourned, naturally, but she also lost 174 pounds and found a away to control her emotional eating and got a grip on her own health. She has been the caregiver to so many… and now she needs care.
So, at times like these, I have to lift it all up to God.
None of this is up to me.
None of this is going to go according to my plan.
It’s not my doing.
I have to leave it to the Lord.
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