Falling off, jumping back on...

Today is another day.

I have sucessfully put back on the weight I lost during my time at weight watchers. It took two weeks. It took me months to take it off and TWO WEEKS to put it back on. Stupid.

Now my back hurts and I twisted my ankle and I am just miserable about this.

I'm back on the wagon now - but it's really really hard.

I have to admit how I actually feeling instead of smoothing it over with food. Dag nabbit.

Right now, Im bored ... and anxious... and hungry ( but it's almost lunch time and I built a gorgeous salad for lunch)

Back on the wagon, back on the wagon, back on the wagon.

points

Here is what plauges me about the whole points system. What happens when you just dont eat during the day? Today for example, I had coffee this am and halfway ate my salad and soup. I had a snack attack about a half hour ago and had some applesauce and a 100 calorie packet of goldfish. Even after I eat my dinner tonight I will have 17 points left. What the HECK am I supposed to do with that? Go on a carb bender?

I dont even want anything. argh. being a recovering foodie is tough.

The end of a "lost" week...

It's Friday and I am glad that it is...

Like Pastor T.D. Jakes says " It's Friday...but Sunday's comin..." I definately need a recharge of some sort. This week has been super wonky. From doing All Shook Up all weekend to catching the Holy Spirit at Ebz last Sunday ( I guess I should blog about that too...) The week started all kinds of weird. That funky Nunsense call...blah blah blah. Instead of praying on it and staying in the Word, I have left it all the wayside. I have also eaten poorly and forgotten to take my meds. I have been scattered and uninterested in everything for most of the week. It's about to be a hoppin May. I have to do better than this.

I need the reset button. I need to go home, get in my jammies, have some popcorn and some TV. Get back in the the Book. Clean, do laundry and celebrate being free from bondage....

For right now though, I am gonna go read Pastor Mark's sermon from last week... or maybe even play it in the office ( my office mate is at a long lunch). Have my four point soup and some goldfish ( you know how I like my goldfish) and try to get my mind right.

Can you tell that I need a vacay? BAAAAAAAAAD.

losing weight on the broken road

I am always afraid to publicly talk about weight loss. I am afraid that people will watch too closely and judge too much. Then again, they watch and judge anyway, so why not talk about it.

So, I am on weight watchers. I go to the meetings at work, which is really convenient. My office mate has lost a tremendous amount of weight in the two years I have been at the Disco. She is my inspiration. She never seemed to be suffering. She eats what she wants. She just chooses to eat better. That's my goal.

My goal since i started has been to actually do a whole week of staying within my " points" ( weight watchers teaches portion control by assigning a point value to every food. you have a certain amount of points per day - you choose how you spend them). Staying within my means has never been my strong suit ( just ask the credit card companies). Eating has been the one thing that brings me consistent pleasure. Now I have teach myself to each for life.

I made the decision to start WW because of side effect of my ADHD meds. I have very little appetite. I could clearly see that I only ate for emotional reasons when I couldnt feel hungry.
So, I decided to force myself to live more conciously.

How am I doing? I am 4 and half pounds down in a month. I can do this. It took way longer than a month to put it on and I certainly have gained more than four pounds in a month.

My first marker has already been met. It was to get under a certain number... I wont say what it is.

My next marker is to lose 30% of my body weight. It's not too far away... I'll let you know when that happens.