I’ve not yet found a way to be alright with being alone. I don’t mean not having any friends or anything like that. I mean not having a partner in life. Not having sex, not having a home base, not having that thing that society tells you that you should have.
I have spent a lot of time pursuing this “thing”. It has caused me heartache and loss of sleep and weight gain and all the finer things in life. It also has caused me to doubt my worth as a human being. It has caused me to compromise in my relationships, in ALL of my relationships. I find myself accepting crap from friends and lovers.
I don’t want to get the short end of the stick anymore. I don’t want second best. I don’t want to be surrounded by desperation and craziness and drama. I don’t want it, I don’t need it and I don’t deserve it.
No don’t cry for me Argentina, I am not soliciting advice or pity. Please don’t consider this a cry for help or an indication of anything of anything regarding anything specific. I am just stating what is on my mind, so that I can move on with the rest of my day.
I am sure that God has a plan for me. I am thankful for the journey. That’s what will carry me. I’m blessed. I just have work to do.
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