I was reading the blog entry from NCC's Team Kenya and thinking about how important teams are.
I work on a couple of different teams. I value working with people. At Ye Olde, I work on a really great team... Team Ticketing works hard, laughs hard and cares a little too much. I love the way the cards have been laid out lately and the people who have come into " my pod" in the past few months have really be wonderful. They strengthen me in ways they dont even know, giving me a little more courage and a little more confidence. They have my back and I love that!
At Toby's, Team Little Shop is phenomenal...lead by the irreplaceable Toby herself and populated by some of the most talented people I have ever worked with. There is a spirit of excellence fueled by the talent pool gathered there. It's a place where good stuff happens. Or at least it has been so far.
At NCC, I have had the pleasure of working on several teams ... Team Godspell made it happen! The "short bus" made it to it's destination, changing lives along the way. I have been blessed to be on the Hospitality team at Ebenezers, from putting up chairs to putting on a smile - that team brings God to people in a very gentle and tangible way. There are other things that I have been a part of and I am sure there is more NCC teamwork in my future. It's a joy to serve.
I am pretty lucky to have been "picked" to be on so many teams - and I never feel like the last one picked.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Loved and Lonely
It's a pretty funny thing. I am blessed by more friends than I know what to do with! Everyone is so wonderful and wacky. It makes for good times and lots of love and support. I never thought I could be lifted up so high.
Why is it then I feel so lonely? I am sitting here tonight, in my messy bedroom, contemplating cleaning it up. Intermittently reading a trashy bodice ripper and writing my own version. Boycotting TV for the night...sipping iced tea sweetened with agave ( my vegan friends would be so proud...Look ma! No equal!) I am relaxed. And sad. I wish I wasnt alone. I wish I had a partner. Would I be doing anything differently tonight? I doubt it. I just wouldnt feel so alone.
I'll talk to the one who makes these plans for us. Maybe my season of singleness will come to an end someday soon. It would be nice.
Why is it then I feel so lonely? I am sitting here tonight, in my messy bedroom, contemplating cleaning it up. Intermittently reading a trashy bodice ripper and writing my own version. Boycotting TV for the night...sipping iced tea sweetened with agave ( my vegan friends would be so proud...Look ma! No equal!) I am relaxed. And sad. I wish I wasnt alone. I wish I had a partner. Would I be doing anything differently tonight? I doubt it. I just wouldnt feel so alone.
I'll talk to the one who makes these plans for us. Maybe my season of singleness will come to an end someday soon. It would be nice.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Doing it another way.
Left Brain (tm) is at it again. Nit picking when he is bored. One of his favorite targets - yours truly. Usually, it leaves me unsettled and despairing... but I decided to offer up the energy I was using to whine to pray instead. I grabbed my little devotional book and took at look at today's passage and scripture reading. Here's what it was:
Psalm 13:
O Lord, how long will you forget me?
Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Don't let my enemies gloat, saying " We have defeated him!"
Don't let them rejoice at my downfall,
But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I WILL SING TO THE LORD BECAUSE HE IS GOOD TO ME.
Amen, y'all.
Psalm 13:
O Lord, how long will you forget me?
Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Don't let my enemies gloat, saying " We have defeated him!"
Don't let them rejoice at my downfall,
But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I WILL SING TO THE LORD BECAUSE HE IS GOOD TO ME.
Amen, y'all.
Learning to accept criticism...
I have never been able to accept criticism very well. I take it really personally and I think I am a failure if people dont like what I do immediately. It's something I have tried to work on and just when I think I have made some progress, I get sideswiped by some unsolicited criticism.
I had followed a job lead given to me by a friend. I got a response email that included a slightly patronizing critique of my resume. My initial reaction was anger and then embarassment that I had sent something to someone that was shoddy. I then went into " I must really suck ". Now, that I am calmer I am willing to accept that my resume probably could use some work. ( I was considering revamping it - I just didnt wan't someone else to tell me to do it)
I also know that this is God reminding me that I can get steered off the road so easily. What looked like a quick fix may not have helped at all. His plan for me probably didnt include that job. I probably shouldnt work for or with someone who would be so quick to start "fixing" and "correcting" me - without even knowing me. (despite the fact it was couched in " love" for a fellow church member) I know I cannot thrive in an environment like that. Dont get me wrong, I need a butt kicking quite often. But if you dont know me, don't try and "tweak" me.
Typing that part made me angry all over again. I have to take a breath and remember that person doesnt know me and doesnt know my path. It's not her business to and I have to let it go. :: breath::
On a more positive and sort of related note, I talked to Beloved on Sunday and he told me that he heard my name come up at an auditon. He was playing for something or other and the casting director that gave me such positive feedback when I went up for the Hairspray call was talking about me to another Broadway producer guy. Beloved said he was gushing about me. He also told them why I didnt get the tour gig. The whole "afraid that I cant do eight shows a week" thing. The option is still out there for my dream to come true. Perhaps that's why my resume didnt sparkle for this woman... perhaps it's God making sure that I am in a place where I can leave when I need to.
I had followed a job lead given to me by a friend. I got a response email that included a slightly patronizing critique of my resume. My initial reaction was anger and then embarassment that I had sent something to someone that was shoddy. I then went into " I must really suck ". Now, that I am calmer I am willing to accept that my resume probably could use some work. ( I was considering revamping it - I just didnt wan't someone else to tell me to do it)
I also know that this is God reminding me that I can get steered off the road so easily. What looked like a quick fix may not have helped at all. His plan for me probably didnt include that job. I probably shouldnt work for or with someone who would be so quick to start "fixing" and "correcting" me - without even knowing me. (despite the fact it was couched in " love" for a fellow church member) I know I cannot thrive in an environment like that. Dont get me wrong, I need a butt kicking quite often. But if you dont know me, don't try and "tweak" me.
Typing that part made me angry all over again. I have to take a breath and remember that person doesnt know me and doesnt know my path. It's not her business to and I have to let it go. :: breath::
On a more positive and sort of related note, I talked to Beloved on Sunday and he told me that he heard my name come up at an auditon. He was playing for something or other and the casting director that gave me such positive feedback when I went up for the Hairspray call was talking about me to another Broadway producer guy. Beloved said he was gushing about me. He also told them why I didnt get the tour gig. The whole "afraid that I cant do eight shows a week" thing. The option is still out there for my dream to come true. Perhaps that's why my resume didnt sparkle for this woman... perhaps it's God making sure that I am in a place where I can leave when I need to.
Little Shop, the designer run.
Tonight, we ran through the whole show for the design and technical teams. Both puppeteers were there, the lighting designer and operator, the sound designer, one of the guys in the band, the costume designer and lots of techies. The show is in amazing shape. It's a testament to the professionalism and talent of the company how truly ready this show is. We have had about 20 rehearsals! It's a whirlwind and it works.
It was fun, it cool to see all the people who will be making it happen. As someone who works on both sides of the stage, I have a great respect for everyone who does this work. It's not easy, but it is wonderful.
These are the times that I can see doing this kind of work for a long long time to come.
It was fun, it cool to see all the people who will be making it happen. As someone who works on both sides of the stage, I have a great respect for everyone who does this work. It's not easy, but it is wonderful.
These are the times that I can see doing this kind of work for a long long time to come.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Team Kenya's incredible 48 hours
I know you all are probably tired of all this "Team Kenya" talk. But you have to know that I feel like I should have been on this trip. My own hang ups and rocky path that I am walking in the natural and in the spirit kept me from taking this trip. So, as part of my "mission" into myself - I am with intention and enthusiasm following thier journey. So deal with it people :P
Team Kenya: Back Online
Team Kenya: Back Online
decisions, decisions...
Well... lets start with a " win". A praise report, indeed!
I asked my boss for the days off to go do the matinee of Little Shop and lo and behold... he gave them to me. He said that if my work slacked off or that things were falling through the cracks we would have to revisit it. But, I am taking the days as vacation days. Halleluiah! God is good. The timing was right...Left brain (tm) was in a good mood and I got through something I was really dreading. YAHOOO!
With that settled, I decided to revisit my theatre company. I had put it on hold for lots of reasons... but mostly because the level of drama that was being generated internally was rivalling anything that you could see on stage. Unecessary drama caused my the wrong combination of people at the wrong time.
Well the time is different now, I am different now and the people I choose to associate with on the regular are different now. I'm also not doing it for selfish reasons anymore. It isnt about me. It's about what God is trying to do through me and THAT my friends is all that matters.
I will speak more on this when the plans are firmer. There should be more info by the end of the summer.
I just wanted to share that I had taken some action, asked for what I needed and made a decsion. That's already a pretty big week for me ; ).
I asked my boss for the days off to go do the matinee of Little Shop and lo and behold... he gave them to me. He said that if my work slacked off or that things were falling through the cracks we would have to revisit it. But, I am taking the days as vacation days. Halleluiah! God is good. The timing was right...Left brain (tm) was in a good mood and I got through something I was really dreading. YAHOOO!
With that settled, I decided to revisit my theatre company. I had put it on hold for lots of reasons... but mostly because the level of drama that was being generated internally was rivalling anything that you could see on stage. Unecessary drama caused my the wrong combination of people at the wrong time.
Well the time is different now, I am different now and the people I choose to associate with on the regular are different now. I'm also not doing it for selfish reasons anymore. It isnt about me. It's about what God is trying to do through me and THAT my friends is all that matters.
I will speak more on this when the plans are firmer. There should be more info by the end of the summer.
I just wanted to share that I had taken some action, asked for what I needed and made a decsion. That's already a pretty big week for me ; ).
The Work of the Holy Spirit
I'm just printing this whole one in my blog - in case you dont click the links. This is something I am working on personally. It's the core, I think to finding the "right" path for you at the right time. I have printed this out and am spending some realy quality time on this challenge. I invite you to do the same. Drop me a note and let me know how it goes for you.
Daily Challenge 5: The Work of the Holy Spirit
This entry is identical to the Daily Devotional Challenge that Team Kenya is using during their trip. It is a study on the 10 Core Values of International Christian Center.
WE VALUE THE WORK OF THE HOLY SPIRIT
Scripture Meditations
Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.
Galatians 5:22-25 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.
1 Corinthians 12:7-11 A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.
Journal Questions
Have you ever had an Acts 2 Pentecost experience?
What fruit of the Spirit is abundant in your life? What fruit do you need the Spirit to cultivate more in your life?
Have you ever experienced any of the spiritual gifts listed in 1 Corinthians? Which ones? Which gifts scare you? Which gifts interest you?
Actions
Some suggestions for putting it into practice today:
1. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you. Ask him for opportunities to use specific gifts.
2. Talk with your team members (or friends) about the Holy Spirit and share your answers to the journal questions.
Daily Challenge 5: The Work of the Holy Spirit
This entry is identical to the Daily Devotional Challenge that Team Kenya is using during their trip. It is a study on the 10 Core Values of International Christian Center.
WE VALUE THE WORK OF THE HOLY SPIRIT
Scripture Meditations
Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.
Galatians 5:22-25 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.
1 Corinthians 12:7-11 A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.
Journal Questions
Have you ever had an Acts 2 Pentecost experience?
What fruit of the Spirit is abundant in your life? What fruit do you need the Spirit to cultivate more in your life?
Have you ever experienced any of the spiritual gifts listed in 1 Corinthians? Which ones? Which gifts scare you? Which gifts interest you?
Actions
Some suggestions for putting it into practice today:
1. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you. Ask him for opportunities to use specific gifts.
2. Talk with your team members (or friends) about the Holy Spirit and share your answers to the journal questions.
Getting to feel like a show.
I just got back from a Little Shop rehearsal and realized that I hadnt talked about the process at all.
It's been so simple. The company is very professional and talented. The rehearsals move quickly and smoothly. There is very little drama. All the performers hit thier marks and thier notes and just do " thier thing" every time.
The show has been rehearsed in sections. The music was rehearsed for a few weeks. The scenes were "put on thier feet" out of order. Certain scenes were rehearsed during the day with the actors that were in those scenes. There were times that I rehearsed with " Seymour" and the puppeteers. ( For those who dont know, I am the voice of the man eating plant. The plant itself will be operated by a puppeteer). I feel like I havent rehearsed a lot. But really...we're at the point where the whole things is being pieced together. In fact, tomorrow we are doing a run for the designers to watch.
We are getting very close to tech week. I anticipate that will be a tough process. The theatre is in the round and the staging is done with that in mind. The rehearsal as been without set pieces so it will be interesting to see what the addition of "actual" things will do for the show. Again, I am really really lucky... I get to sit with the band in the pit and work off my script and the conductor. FUN!
I am blessed to be a part of the team and even more blessed to know that the company thinks I am talented and "one of them". That rocks so hard. I am lucky , cuz in this show I just have to sing real hard a couple of times and they love me for it.
I have had a couple of people actually tell me how glad they are that I am there and how glad they are to have met me. Really people, I have been just showing up and hanging out! I know that the spirit of the Lord is in me - and that and not me is what is attractive to these people. It's thrilling. I know that I have some opportunities and openings with this company. It's time to put some of the things I am discovering and learning out there. How awesome is that?
God has made a way for me. I thank my fairy godmothers for pushing me to do this. I know it is all a part of His plan for me. I've said to a couple of people " maybe I am supposed to be a Broadway missionary". Maybe... and maybe this is a test run. I will try to reveal, by example, the blessings of God.
I feel real lucky right now.
It's been so simple. The company is very professional and talented. The rehearsals move quickly and smoothly. There is very little drama. All the performers hit thier marks and thier notes and just do " thier thing" every time.
The show has been rehearsed in sections. The music was rehearsed for a few weeks. The scenes were "put on thier feet" out of order. Certain scenes were rehearsed during the day with the actors that were in those scenes. There were times that I rehearsed with " Seymour" and the puppeteers. ( For those who dont know, I am the voice of the man eating plant. The plant itself will be operated by a puppeteer). I feel like I havent rehearsed a lot. But really...we're at the point where the whole things is being pieced together. In fact, tomorrow we are doing a run for the designers to watch.
We are getting very close to tech week. I anticipate that will be a tough process. The theatre is in the round and the staging is done with that in mind. The rehearsal as been without set pieces so it will be interesting to see what the addition of "actual" things will do for the show. Again, I am really really lucky... I get to sit with the band in the pit and work off my script and the conductor. FUN!
I am blessed to be a part of the team and even more blessed to know that the company thinks I am talented and "one of them". That rocks so hard. I am lucky , cuz in this show I just have to sing real hard a couple of times and they love me for it.
I have had a couple of people actually tell me how glad they are that I am there and how glad they are to have met me. Really people, I have been just showing up and hanging out! I know that the spirit of the Lord is in me - and that and not me is what is attractive to these people. It's thrilling. I know that I have some opportunities and openings with this company. It's time to put some of the things I am discovering and learning out there. How awesome is that?
God has made a way for me. I thank my fairy godmothers for pushing me to do this. I know it is all a part of His plan for me. I've said to a couple of people " maybe I am supposed to be a Broadway missionary". Maybe... and maybe this is a test run. I will try to reveal, by example, the blessings of God.
I feel real lucky right now.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Weekend in the country.
My friend Momo, fresh from big ole New York came to visit for her annual Memorial Day weekend in Washington. I really thought this trip was going to be derailed by a tragic sewing accident. What tragic sewing accident, you say? Dear Momo, in an attempt to learn to sew... accidently sewed a machine needle into her hand. The needle broke off in her finger and she is walking around with the tip of a needle on her person. Can you say OW?!?!?!
The doctors didnt take it out in the emergency room, they were talking surgery. I was sure she wasnt going to make it. By the sheer stubborn "Momo" will, she got on a bus and spent the weekend with me in DC. Bless her. She was totally under the weather - and I wasnt much better. We did some shopping and mall walking ( that's country to her) and she soaked up some of that " living at home with your mom" goodness I am blessed to still be partaking of.
It was really nice to spend time with her. I miss her very much. She is one of the reason why moving back to NYC would be so cool. She is a creative, ever evolving, totally neurotic soul and I love her for it.
The doctors didnt take it out in the emergency room, they were talking surgery. I was sure she wasnt going to make it. By the sheer stubborn "Momo" will, she got on a bus and spent the weekend with me in DC. Bless her. She was totally under the weather - and I wasnt much better. We did some shopping and mall walking ( that's country to her) and she soaked up some of that " living at home with your mom" goodness I am blessed to still be partaking of.
It was really nice to spend time with her. I miss her very much. She is one of the reason why moving back to NYC would be so cool. She is a creative, ever evolving, totally neurotic soul and I love her for it.
Something to do for Team Kenya
As I said, my thoughts these next couple of weeks are with the National Community Church mission team in Kenya.
I thought I would add the "action" suggestions from the online missions Daily Challenge to my own page. I hope that you will, at the very least, say a prayer for Team Kenya and the team doing good works at International Christian Centre (ICC) in Nairobi.
Pray Scripture over the people of ICC. Some examples of Scripture prayers include Ephesians 1:15-20, Ephesians 3:15-21, Philippians 1:9-11, and Colossians 1:9-14.
Meditate on our trip mission verses: Luke 10:27 and John 13:34-35.
I thought I would add the "action" suggestions from the online missions Daily Challenge to my own page. I hope that you will, at the very least, say a prayer for Team Kenya and the team doing good works at International Christian Centre (ICC) in Nairobi.
Pray Scripture over the people of ICC. Some examples of Scripture prayers include Ephesians 1:15-20, Ephesians 3:15-21, Philippians 1:9-11, and Colossians 1:9-14.
Meditate on our trip mission verses: Luke 10:27 and John 13:34-35.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Pastorfriend (tm) speaks
I miss her already, so it is really nice to have her "voice" via blog to remind me of what really matters. Big God.
Keep the prayers going... Team Kenya arrives!
My friends on the National Community Church missions trip to Kenya have arrived. To follow thier amazing journey click here.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Amazing people...
There is a group of people I admire and adore that are heading off to Kenya tomorrow. They take with them the thoughts and prayers of so many people. I love and support thier endeavor and I think they are very brave and wonderful. They really are the "salt".
For the time that they are away, I will be including a links to the National Community Church Missions page. Please pray for them as they work with
International Christian Centre in Kenya.
From the theaterchurch.com:
Project Kenya
May 25—June 4, 2007
A team of 22 NCCers are making the journey to Nairobi, Kenya to work with Pastor Chip Block and International Christian Centre. We will lead discipleship, small group, and leadership training for their young adults ministry and we will work with their worship and drama teams to do arts evangelism. Our primary mission is rooted in Luke 10:27—to love God and love others.
Scripture for the Journey
Friends, I think that no matter where your journey is taking you right now...whether it is into faraway lands or to the missions fields in your office... these passages mentioned in the article above are applicable.
For the time that they are away, I will be including a links to the National Community Church Missions page. Please pray for them as they work with
International Christian Centre in Kenya.
From the theaterchurch.com:
Project Kenya
May 25—June 4, 2007
A team of 22 NCCers are making the journey to Nairobi, Kenya to work with Pastor Chip Block and International Christian Centre. We will lead discipleship, small group, and leadership training for their young adults ministry and we will work with their worship and drama teams to do arts evangelism. Our primary mission is rooted in Luke 10:27—to love God and love others.
Scripture for the Journey
Friends, I think that no matter where your journey is taking you right now...whether it is into faraway lands or to the missions fields in your office... these passages mentioned in the article above are applicable.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
ARGH
Today is an"Argh" day. A day when it really would have been better for me to call in "cranky" and stay home. It's funny, cuz there aren't a lot of people in the office - everyone is preparing for Ye Olde's annual foray into the park for free theatre.
I just feel annoyed with the whole world - or at least my little piece of it. I just want to go home and read a book. And I cant. And that annoys me.
In fact , I have to rush home tonight and coiff up for a black tie event I have been strong armed into going to. The best part? I will have to sit in at a table in an uncomfortable gown with people who grate on my last nerve, people from work, for three hours. There are no fun people there. Only people I have to smile at and listen to for HOURS!
I think by now, you all know that social events make me anxious. Big snooty ones make me nauseous. One's that I am forced to go to make me angry.
So of course, this is the core of why I feel like everything and everyone is getting on my nerves today. My nerves are shot. I dont feel like crying... I feeling like quitting. Everything and everyone.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, really it is. Argh.
I just feel annoyed with the whole world - or at least my little piece of it. I just want to go home and read a book. And I cant. And that annoys me.
In fact , I have to rush home tonight and coiff up for a black tie event I have been strong armed into going to. The best part? I will have to sit in at a table in an uncomfortable gown with people who grate on my last nerve, people from work, for three hours. There are no fun people there. Only people I have to smile at and listen to for HOURS!
I think by now, you all know that social events make me anxious. Big snooty ones make me nauseous. One's that I am forced to go to make me angry.
So of course, this is the core of why I feel like everything and everyone is getting on my nerves today. My nerves are shot. I dont feel like crying... I feeling like quitting. Everything and everyone.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, really it is. Argh.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Steven Curtis Jesus tickets
When I lived with my dear friend Momo in New York City, I used to play my Steven Curtis Chapman Cd's a lot. She appreciated his musical style, but some of the lyrics were not to her taste. She is Jewish and songs praising Jesus do nothing for her. Anyway, one day she asked me the name of a song of his. She wanted to suggest it to her voice teacher (the teacher was singing at a wedding). She says " What is that song by Steven Curtis Jesus? You know, the one I like." From that day on, he became SCJ.
I mention this only because the presale for the SJC tickets is tomorrow and I am counting my pennies. I love me some middle aged Christian pop singers.
I mention this only because the presale for the SJC tickets is tomorrow and I am counting my pennies. I love me some middle aged Christian pop singers.
...it's probably time for me to get out.
"I have a litmus test that helps me know whether I'm still doing what God wants me to be doing: am I excited about coming back after going away? If the day comes that I'm not excited about coming back, then it's probably time for me to get out. "
~Pastor Mark Batterson
I was happy to be back in Washington after my cruise. I was glad to see my friends, my mom and my sister. I was happy to get back to rehearsing for Little Shop and getting up and praising the Lord for each new day. I have been glad to do all the wonderful things I have done this week... connecting with friends, seeing theatre, going to concerts and sleeping in my own bed.
I was not, however, glad to be back at Ye Olde. I don't know why I hang on as long as I have. It's not like it does anything for me but pay bills. Yet, I feel compelled to stay. I feel the inertia kicking in again. I am making excuses and trying to find a way for this all to " work out". Deep down, I know I just need to move on. Set my sails and travel whereever God wants me to be.
I have a lot on my mind right now. Not a lot of it that I want to post right now, but when it is more succinct - trust me I will share it.
~Pastor Mark Batterson
I was happy to be back in Washington after my cruise. I was glad to see my friends, my mom and my sister. I was happy to get back to rehearsing for Little Shop and getting up and praising the Lord for each new day. I have been glad to do all the wonderful things I have done this week... connecting with friends, seeing theatre, going to concerts and sleeping in my own bed.
I was not, however, glad to be back at Ye Olde. I don't know why I hang on as long as I have. It's not like it does anything for me but pay bills. Yet, I feel compelled to stay. I feel the inertia kicking in again. I am making excuses and trying to find a way for this all to " work out". Deep down, I know I just need to move on. Set my sails and travel whereever God wants me to be.
I have a lot on my mind right now. Not a lot of it that I want to post right now, but when it is more succinct - trust me I will share it.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Salt Water Taffy is from the devil
My boss brought Candy Kitchen taffy back from the beach. I have eaten way to much of it. I am a taffy addict. I see those colorful little pieces of goodness wrapped in wax paper and I just want snuffle them all up. I have probably eaten 25 of them. I am starting to feel dizzy. I guess i'll stop.
But.
They.
Are.
So.
Yummy!
The gauntlet has been thrown...
What if you're right?
And he was just another nice guy.
What if you're right?
What if it's true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you.
And what if it's true?
What if he takes his place in history,
With all the prophets and the kings,
Who taught us love and came in peace,
But then the story ends.
What then?
But what if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?
What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends?
What if you dig?
What if you find?
A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That's all you find?
What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes?
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Than folklore that must be told and retold?
You've been running as fast as you can.
You've been looking for a place you can land for so long
But what if you're wrong?
~ What If by Nicole Nordeman
It started as soon as I got home from my cruise. E-money so kindly came and picked me up from the port and drove me home from Baltimore. I walked in the door and my friend said " I am looking at your church's website." I kept it light but inside I was starting to churn. You see my friend is a cynical sort. One that not only believes that she is right... but she truly believes that anything she doesnt believe or like is so totally wrong that you should never ever talk about it. She is very vociferous in her opinions and sometimes that makes for uncomfortable and annoying situations. I just didnt feel like "going there" with her. I had literally just walked in the door.
The conversation picked up a little later when we were having lunch. My sister was talking about how she was actively seeking a church which she could bring up children. I was telling her about how young the church is demographically and that it was probably a good fit for her. Our friend seemed a little detatched from the conversation. As we were walking into a store, she asked me if I was involved in any of the small groups. I told her about my Godspell experience as well as my participation in the Alpha course. She then said something snarky to the effect of "is there a Spanish teacher ministry?"
At this point I had to remind myself that I was redeemed with the blood of the Lamb. I wanted to smack her across her face. I replied " If you can find enough Spanish teachers to form a group, I am sure my pastorfriend (tm) could help you put it together". She just looked at me exasperated and walked away. I guess I didnt bite the way she wanted me too. Later she said " is there a dance ministry?" I told her about how there were indeed opportunities to share in a community of people who were interested in dance. As we traversed the aisles of the store, I could feel her formulating more questions. When she finally came up with one it was " Well, what about a food ministry?" I was able to say let her know that there were indeed some people who shared thier gifts of hospitality and culinary skill as part of the Alpha group, preparing delicious meals every Monday for the group. She was stymied . I was challenged.
I thought the "grilling" was done...but no. She stated in the car on the way home that she was hung up on the idea of Jesus as God. Yikes! I just dont feel equipped to answer this one. So I remained silent. She switched it up and started asking me what I believed out of the Bible. I answered her, but started to feel resentful and that she was attacking me. I was so relieved when she got out of the car.
I told my sister how I was feeling and she let me know that this was just how our friend processed things. I had to go inward and realize that this was an opportunity for me to evangelize. A chance to let someone know what I believe and why. I thank God for giving me the chance and the challenge of speaking my faith and showing how His love has transformed my life. I know that the next time our friend asks a question, it's not an attack - it's an opening.
And he was just another nice guy.
What if you're right?
What if it's true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you.
And what if it's true?
What if he takes his place in history,
With all the prophets and the kings,
Who taught us love and came in peace,
But then the story ends.
What then?
But what if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?
What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends?
What if you dig?
What if you find?
A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That's all you find?
What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes?
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Than folklore that must be told and retold?
You've been running as fast as you can.
You've been looking for a place you can land for so long
But what if you're wrong?
~ What If by Nicole Nordeman
It started as soon as I got home from my cruise. E-money so kindly came and picked me up from the port and drove me home from Baltimore. I walked in the door and my friend said " I am looking at your church's website." I kept it light but inside I was starting to churn. You see my friend is a cynical sort. One that not only believes that she is right... but she truly believes that anything she doesnt believe or like is so totally wrong that you should never ever talk about it. She is very vociferous in her opinions and sometimes that makes for uncomfortable and annoying situations. I just didnt feel like "going there" with her. I had literally just walked in the door.
The conversation picked up a little later when we were having lunch. My sister was talking about how she was actively seeking a church which she could bring up children. I was telling her about how young the church is demographically and that it was probably a good fit for her. Our friend seemed a little detatched from the conversation. As we were walking into a store, she asked me if I was involved in any of the small groups. I told her about my Godspell experience as well as my participation in the Alpha course. She then said something snarky to the effect of "is there a Spanish teacher ministry?"
At this point I had to remind myself that I was redeemed with the blood of the Lamb. I wanted to smack her across her face. I replied " If you can find enough Spanish teachers to form a group, I am sure my pastorfriend (tm) could help you put it together". She just looked at me exasperated and walked away. I guess I didnt bite the way she wanted me too. Later she said " is there a dance ministry?" I told her about how there were indeed opportunities to share in a community of people who were interested in dance. As we traversed the aisles of the store, I could feel her formulating more questions. When she finally came up with one it was " Well, what about a food ministry?" I was able to say let her know that there were indeed some people who shared thier gifts of hospitality and culinary skill as part of the Alpha group, preparing delicious meals every Monday for the group. She was stymied . I was challenged.
I thought the "grilling" was done...but no. She stated in the car on the way home that she was hung up on the idea of Jesus as God. Yikes! I just dont feel equipped to answer this one. So I remained silent. She switched it up and started asking me what I believed out of the Bible. I answered her, but started to feel resentful and that she was attacking me. I was so relieved when she got out of the car.
I told my sister how I was feeling and she let me know that this was just how our friend processed things. I had to go inward and realize that this was an opportunity for me to evangelize. A chance to let someone know what I believe and why. I thank God for giving me the chance and the challenge of speaking my faith and showing how His love has transformed my life. I know that the next time our friend asks a question, it's not an attack - it's an opening.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Aiight y'all...
I'm back. Let the party begin!
LOL
It was spectacular. Blue blue water. The warmest sun ever ( the deepest tan EVER). Yummy food. Lots of quiet time. I feel really relaxed.
Best part? My boss took a four day weekend so he isnt at work today - it's like an extension on my vaca.
"Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole - feelin' hot hot hot.." :: dancing the conga line in my mind::
LOL
It was spectacular. Blue blue water. The warmest sun ever ( the deepest tan EVER). Yummy food. Lots of quiet time. I feel really relaxed.
Best part? My boss took a four day weekend so he isnt at work today - it's like an extension on my vaca.
"Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole - feelin' hot hot hot.." :: dancing the conga line in my mind::
Friday, May 04, 2007
addicted to procrastipacking
I have to say I think I may have perfected the art of waiting till the last possible second to pack now. It's 1:45am and I have not finished packing. In fact, I can hear load 1 of 2 of my laundry tumbling in the basement right at this second. Madness! You say? Yes, I say, it is.
I will say that I had a fab time with my gal pals at the coffeehouseoflove (tm) tonight. My spiritual sendoff was quite wonderful. I have a lot to think and pray about on the trip...all good things... all new. I also have a shiny new copy of The Organic God by Margaret Feinberg signed by the author ( thanks pastorfriend (tm) !!!) to take on my journey.
I am less than 48 hours away from a trip I am REALLY looking forward to. But what is on my mind... have I packed enough underware? How much is too much underware?
I am also thinking " Do I really have to go to work tomorrow?" I soooooo dont want to. But, there are "T's" to cross and "I's" to dot before I set sail.
Plus, my last beach picture and the picture of the boat are on my work computer and I wouldnt want y'all to miss that ;)
I will say that I had a fab time with my gal pals at the coffeehouseoflove (tm) tonight. My spiritual sendoff was quite wonderful. I have a lot to think and pray about on the trip...all good things... all new. I also have a shiny new copy of The Organic God by Margaret Feinberg signed by the author ( thanks pastorfriend (tm) !!!) to take on my journey.
I am less than 48 hours away from a trip I am REALLY looking forward to. But what is on my mind... have I packed enough underware? How much is too much underware?
I am also thinking " Do I really have to go to work tomorrow?" I soooooo dont want to. But, there are "T's" to cross and "I's" to dot before I set sail.
Plus, my last beach picture and the picture of the boat are on my work computer and I wouldnt want y'all to miss that ;)
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
My Dominant Intelligence or You have a big mouth.
| Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence |
 You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator. |
Discovering the Gifts of the Spirit. (long post)
This is probably one of the things that is hardest to wrap my head around. I receive gifts badly. I am often embarrassed and at a loss for words. The thought that God would give me multiple gifts is something so overwhelmingly foreign to me that I have refused to even deal with it for most of my life. This manifests in the fact that I have been able to sing well my whole life. I have hidden it and left it unused (for the most part) years at a time. I have never truly been able to accept that I could use that ability for anything besides something extra curricular. In fact, just typing this has made my face burn with embarrassment. I am not comfortable with gifts.
I have been trying in the past few months to do “a new thing” in my life. I have acknowledged the overwhelming heart I have for Christ. I have been washed in the blood of the Lamb and I survived. Now I must learn how to receive the Holy Spirit and allow it to lead me where I am destined to be. The momentousness of this undertaking is threatening to swallow me whole. Maybe that is what is supposed to be happening. Every time I think about it, I feel a little dizzy…I hear music… the tears start to fall. Is it possible? Are all the things that I keep hidden, the feelings and the dreams…the energy I feel around people and situations… are they real? Is this all part of a gift that I have been receiving badly?
Pastorfriend ™ never has any problem laying things out for me. She often says emotionally cataclysmic things to me. I don’t even know if she knows how many times she has steered me back on to the road, pulled me back from running away. She actually has been trying to talk to me about this for a while… and I have been skirting the issue.
Week before last a friend came into town (he actually came in to start rehearsing a show) and there was a seismic shift. I knew the minute he came into town. I could hear him calling out in fear… and I could feel him drowning his fear in alcohol. I could sense when he came back from the brink and when his fear started to rise again. I had to consciously “shut him off” in order to concentrate. When we came in actual face to face contact – we just stared at each other and held each other. It was obvious that what I used to call “ soul kisses” were coming fast and furious between us although the people around us simply heard innocuous conversation. When we had to separate, it was a physical pain ( he even asked me to come sit with him… but in the situation we were in, he was supposed to sit in the front and I was supposed to take a seat in the back).
After the meeting, he grabbed me as I was leaving and said “wish me luck”. I kissed his forehead and said a silent prayer. He looked at me and I swear I heard him say “amen”. I went back to work and I felt like I was flying. I thanked God for moments like that. I also realized that I was having more and more moments like that.
This past Sunday, I was challenged by the guest speaker at NCC. Margaret Feinberg is super cool. She speaks my language. Specifically, she spoke about how the Holy Spirit whispers to her. She gave several examples of how it occurred, and what happened when she didn’t listen. I realized at that moment that I was being spoken to all the time. That I didn’t listen ALL the time and that the things I am dealing with now in the natural are directly related to my turning a deaf ear to strongest of the “soul kisses”… the soft brush of the breath of heaven on my very soul.
Which brings me back to how do I learn to accept the gift of the spirit? What are these gifts? Is there a return policy? (I’m kidding…) Stay tuned people… I think this is going to be a pretty interesting investigation.
I have been trying in the past few months to do “a new thing” in my life. I have acknowledged the overwhelming heart I have for Christ. I have been washed in the blood of the Lamb and I survived. Now I must learn how to receive the Holy Spirit and allow it to lead me where I am destined to be. The momentousness of this undertaking is threatening to swallow me whole. Maybe that is what is supposed to be happening. Every time I think about it, I feel a little dizzy…I hear music… the tears start to fall. Is it possible? Are all the things that I keep hidden, the feelings and the dreams…the energy I feel around people and situations… are they real? Is this all part of a gift that I have been receiving badly?
Pastorfriend ™ never has any problem laying things out for me. She often says emotionally cataclysmic things to me. I don’t even know if she knows how many times she has steered me back on to the road, pulled me back from running away. She actually has been trying to talk to me about this for a while… and I have been skirting the issue.
Week before last a friend came into town (he actually came in to start rehearsing a show) and there was a seismic shift. I knew the minute he came into town. I could hear him calling out in fear… and I could feel him drowning his fear in alcohol. I could sense when he came back from the brink and when his fear started to rise again. I had to consciously “shut him off” in order to concentrate. When we came in actual face to face contact – we just stared at each other and held each other. It was obvious that what I used to call “ soul kisses” were coming fast and furious between us although the people around us simply heard innocuous conversation. When we had to separate, it was a physical pain ( he even asked me to come sit with him… but in the situation we were in, he was supposed to sit in the front and I was supposed to take a seat in the back).
After the meeting, he grabbed me as I was leaving and said “wish me luck”. I kissed his forehead and said a silent prayer. He looked at me and I swear I heard him say “amen”. I went back to work and I felt like I was flying. I thanked God for moments like that. I also realized that I was having more and more moments like that.
This past Sunday, I was challenged by the guest speaker at NCC. Margaret Feinberg is super cool. She speaks my language. Specifically, she spoke about how the Holy Spirit whispers to her. She gave several examples of how it occurred, and what happened when she didn’t listen. I realized at that moment that I was being spoken to all the time. That I didn’t listen ALL the time and that the things I am dealing with now in the natural are directly related to my turning a deaf ear to strongest of the “soul kisses”… the soft brush of the breath of heaven on my very soul.
Which brings me back to how do I learn to accept the gift of the spirit? What are these gifts? Is there a return policy? (I’m kidding…) Stay tuned people… I think this is going to be a pretty interesting investigation.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Guess which superhero I am?
Your results:
You are Spider-Man
| You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility. ![](="http://www.thesuperheroquiz.com/pics/spidy.gif") |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test
"
Fact: Window puppet shows are illegal in New York City
I was watching TV and a diet mountain dew commerical came on with this caption. Fact: Window puppet shows are illegal in New York City. For real y'all ...it's true. A New York blogger talks about it.
Washington is burning...
Yesterday, two of Washington's landmarks burned down. No, I am not talking about any of the monuments or museums. I am talking about things that are really Washington. The Washington of the people who live in the city. One was the Georgetown branch of the DC Public Library, where many irreplaceable historic documents were damaged and destroyed - a loss of Washington history that cannot even begin to mourn.
The one that hit me the hardest though, was Eastern Market. Not only is it a stop on the Metro, but is a place where Washington consistently came together. Just two weeks ago, after church, my sister and I walked the flea market and took in the wares of the artisans and sampled the fruits of the farmers in the open air market. I said to her as we were walking in the sunshine, skirting past the puppies and the strollers, listening to the cacophony of accents and languages... "This is Washington." I said a happy prayer of thanksgiving for the day and the city and the unparalleled joy of the moment.
I didnt know it was going to be the last time I would see the structure in tact. My thoughts go out to the merchants whose entire livelyhood is in turmoil. I share gratitude with the firefighters who have managed to salvage the structure of the building and I pray for the legislators and the community, that they will be able to rebuild... without in fighting and additional agendas.
There are pictures of the damage here, from Flickr user Erin M.
The one that hit me the hardest though, was Eastern Market. Not only is it a stop on the Metro, but is a place where Washington consistently came together. Just two weeks ago, after church, my sister and I walked the flea market and took in the wares of the artisans and sampled the fruits of the farmers in the open air market. I said to her as we were walking in the sunshine, skirting past the puppies and the strollers, listening to the cacophony of accents and languages... "This is Washington." I said a happy prayer of thanksgiving for the day and the city and the unparalleled joy of the moment.
I didnt know it was going to be the last time I would see the structure in tact. My thoughts go out to the merchants whose entire livelyhood is in turmoil. I share gratitude with the firefighters who have managed to salvage the structure of the building and I pray for the legislators and the community, that they will be able to rebuild... without in fighting and additional agendas.
There are pictures of the damage here, from Flickr user Erin M.
Sometimes emails make me happy.
"George Washington was here in my office yesterday! :) I told him you said, “Hello”! "
- colleague from Mount Vernon
- colleague from Mount Vernon
Okay, so I have to confess, when I went to Texas for the American Bus Association Marketplace, I developed a little crush on George Washington ( as portrayed by Dean Malissa, above). He is so tall, so distinguished and so smart ( all the things I love in a man). And that hair in the picture is his - it's long and straight - he curls it for appearances. tee hee.
We had some nice conversations the morning that the Washington Convention and Tourism Corporation had thier Tour Operator Breakfast. The head of the WCTC had a " talk show " about what was new in DC. "George Washington" and "William Shakespeare" appeared on the show.
I must have mentioned my crush to my colleague... LOL
Had to share, it sort of made my day...
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