Learning to accept criticism...

I have never been able to accept criticism very well. I take it really personally and I think I am a failure if people dont like what I do immediately. It's something I have tried to work on and just when I think I have made some progress, I get sideswiped by some unsolicited criticism.

I had followed a job lead given to me by a friend. I got a response email that included a slightly patronizing critique of my resume. My initial reaction was anger and then embarassment that I had sent something to someone that was shoddy. I then went into " I must really suck ". Now, that I am calmer I am willing to accept that my resume probably could use some work. ( I was considering revamping it - I just didnt wan't someone else to tell me to do it)

I also know that this is God reminding me that I can get steered off the road so easily. What looked like a quick fix may not have helped at all. His plan for me probably didnt include that job. I probably shouldnt work for or with someone who would be so quick to start "fixing" and "correcting" me - without even knowing me. (despite the fact it was couched in " love" for a fellow church member) I know I cannot thrive in an environment like that. Dont get me wrong, I need a butt kicking quite often. But if you dont know me, don't try and "tweak" me.

Typing that part made me angry all over again. I have to take a breath and remember that person doesnt know me and doesnt know my path. It's not her business to and I have to let it go. :: breath::

On a more positive and sort of related note, I talked to Beloved on Sunday and he told me that he heard my name come up at an auditon. He was playing for something or other and the casting director that gave me such positive feedback when I went up for the Hairspray call was talking about me to another Broadway producer guy. Beloved said he was gushing about me. He also told them why I didnt get the tour gig. The whole "afraid that I cant do eight shows a week" thing. The option is still out there for my dream to come true. Perhaps that's why my resume didnt sparkle for this woman... perhaps it's God making sure that I am in a place where I can leave when I need to.